So everyone seems to be freaking out about this whole "rapture" thing and they are convinced the world will end tomorrow etcetera. :\ Hmmmm, well considering the fact that only God knows when this day will come (and absolutely no one else) I am fairly certain that the world is not going to end tomorrow (just as it didn't end all those other times). However, if we do happen to see an outbreak in zombies I immediately assign the blame to our president's health care bill (it's the only logical explanation). So, just to be safe, here are some zombie survival tips (most of which I learned from comic books and from watching Buffy kill vampires).

Grab you shot guns and machetes people, it's time to take on the undead.

Well there are a lot of fairly essential things that must be done to survive a zombie apocalypse (most of which were covered by the CDC here: http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp). I would just like to add a couple of things that I find important.

1. Center yourself around people who don't use their brains very often because they will give off a strong "brainless" vibe that may shield you from the zombie senses.
2. Make sure to get a pair of Heelys (check that off my list good sir) because while having shoes is very important to your survival it is also important that you can outrun (or out roll) the undead swarms.
3. If you ever find yourself surrounded, don't try to be a hero, just try to be as brain dead and slow as possible. Zombies are stupid, if you pretend to be one of them they won't think to eat you.
4. While owning a guard dog would be good, owning a zombie guard dog is even better, just be sure that you properly train your undead pet to enjoy the taste of animal brains more than your own.
5. Don't move into some big city and scrounge for food in empty buildings like all the idiots in all the movies do. If you are drawn to the city, where do you think the brain dead zombies are drawn? Go out into the country, plant a garden, hunt your own food. The mountian air is too thin for the undead and that is where all the wildlife will flee to is well.
6. Finally, and most importantly, always make sure you have some kind of weapon with you because, for some reason, dead people (even though they walk slower than a snail can crawl) are stronger than you.

I hope you guys fare well in your impending doom. I'm fairly certain it will not be soon but it never hurts to be prepared. That is the boy scout motto isn't it? Or maybe I'm just thinking of that song in the Lion King.